1. Don’t be deceived by the pictures you see on social media or the images married people try to portray in church. There is hardly any marriage without its own peculiar challenges.
We pastors don’t sometimes preach reality.
Don’t envy another person’s marriage; you might not know what they are bearing. Their ‘pepper soup’ might be hotter than your own.
2. Marriage is like a secret cult.
Those inside always paint a glamorous picture; they don’t tell you about their challenges.
They always tell you to join them; but if they have their way, they will jump out, if not for the fear of God or what society will say.
3. If it is possible, some men would have married half a wife.
They would have wanted God to divide their wife into two from the navel.
They will take from the navel down for sex and having babies. The remaining part from the navel up to the head, they will tell God to keep it till the rapture.
Only a few men will understand what I’m saying.
4. No human being can give you joy and fulfilment on a daily basis, every time, in every way.
Your wife has her own challenges.
A wife cannot satisfy your sexual advances any time and every time.
The problems women face are enormous.
Please try and understand when she refuses you sex. It does not equate to rejection.
Try and value her beyond sex.
5. Don’t let people use scriptures to put you under pressure.
Most of those who wrote about marriage in the bible were not married.
Inspiration is different from practical experience. The Bible was written in an agrarian era.
I don’t think that Deborah, wife of Lapidoth, was a typical wife.
I don’t think that Angela Merkel or the Queen of England are typical housewives.
Adjust your marriage to fit your own and new reality.
Flexibility is the key.
6. Please find ‘orgasm’ from other aspects of life.
I find pleasure in productivity, creativity, and ministry.
The 6th of December, 2020, was our 35th marriage anniversary; we both forgot because we are very busy.
I reminded her on the 13th of December, 2020. She just said “35 years”? No big deal, no stress, no strife.
I have a fine hotel accommodation booked for us the next day by a lawyer.
A company, I act as resource person for, has booked 3 days in a holiday resort for us.
Don’t let your mind start running wild bad boy/girl; we are grandparents.
7. Marriage is very challenging; don’t add too many complications.
There is no specific format that fits all.
We have adjusted to each other, acknowledged our inadequacies, but value our uniqueness.
God Bless You.