A healthy family/home is a family that is spiritually, physically, intellectually, mentally, and financially sound, and socially responsible.

    It starts from the choice of a marriage partner.

    Usually, in times of old, inquiries are made about issues like mental illness in the families. Today, hemoglobin genotype tests are done to check for conditions like Sickle Cell Disease, Hemoglobin C Disease, Thalassemia, etc. HIV screening is also done. All these are done to mitigate against physical illnesses that are avoidable.

    It is best to marry someone with the same doctrinal background with you; if not, doctrinal differences can become cancerous in the home.

    It is best to marry into a horizontal social class as a woman, or marry upward; however, be ready to mutually develop yourselves. When a woman marries far below her social, intellectual, and financial status, there is the tendency for the man to always exhibit issues of inferiority complex. Most times, he tends to always feel intimidated, or he tends to always find fault with anything the woman does. Sometimes the women can be very bossy when they find themselves in the driving seat financially and socially.

    A financially sound family is able to provide the fundamental needs of the family and ensure that each member of the household reaches a level of self-actualization. Collectively, a healthy family is built on the pursuit of a divine purpose, while at the same time, each member is able to maximize their potentials.

    A lot of what the couples are being asked when it comes to determining the “health” of a family is irrelevant. “What is your partner’s best meal?” or “What is her shoe size?”, for example, are of no relevance when you reach an age bracket when you are afraid of diabetes and cholesterol. If one has diabetes there is nothing like best meals; it is then healthy meals that are important. I usually tell them that all the answers they give could have been provided by a steward or personal assistant. The pursuit of their purposes is what sets them apart and makes every family unique.

    Most families have their own challenges that they need to ameliorate to be healthy; there is no single prescription that works for all families. Each family must identify their issues and deliberately set out to rectify them on a sustainable basis.

    The frustration most couples have is the desire to pattern their marriages over a perceived ideal family from the Bible or some other model. What works in one family might not work in another. The doctrinal approach in the biblical era might not apply in this generation.

    Building a healthy family is a collective and consistent trans-generational responsibility.

    God Bless You.


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