Serious Confession: I Am A Polygamist

Polygamy in Nigeria and most of West Africa was partly because of economic reasons. Life then was mostly based on subsistence agriculture. The more hands you had to work in the farm, the more food and surplus you had to trade by barter.

I met barter trade in the early 1960s up to 1963 before I came to Warri. The advent of tax and the need to work in the cities, Christianity, Western education, and the decline in trade by batter made polygamy relatively unpopular. However, it was the surplus labour of the wives and children that translated to wealth then.

Money is a virgin; it has no man and no master. I have learnt to impregnate my little sums of money with ideas to produce more virgin money for me, which I subsequently impregnate with new ideas.

Therefore, I must confess to you that I have been practicing financial polygamy and financial incest. I have learnt that with the offspring from these financial intercourse, I can subsequently employ people by buying their time.

Someone once said that you can’t become a legitimate millionaire unless you work 100 hours a day.

The secret is to impregnate your little sums of money until you need someone to help you nurse the offspring. As you expand, multiply, and diversify, you will buy more people’s time. By the time you have 13 people working 8 hours everyday for you, then you have surpassed the 100-hour mark. The more of such multiples you have, the richer you become with good management.

You can start by impregnating a little part of your salary before retirement.

I am not too concerned about the amount of money, but I derive orgasms from the intercourse between my ideas, my money, and their offspring.

I nor be Dangote or Adeleke, but I dey okay.

I’m living the life I had always wanted to live.

I’m so engrossed with my economic side-chicks, that I don’t have time for adultery. These my financial side-chicks are so enticing that I don’t have time to fight over sex, food, or money with my wife. I have employed and seen very beautiful women in the past 36 years of marriage, but as a matter of principle, I don’t do adultery.

Start early to impregnate your money even as a salary-earner; don’t wait for your retirement benefits. Sometimes, by the time you receive it, you already have financial impotence, financial oligospermia, azoospermia, or financial menopause.

Start early or start now, so that you can have time to live the kind of life you had always wanted to live.

I’m sorry I did not let you know about this secret part of my life early enough.

As for you religious folks or Marxists, I have no apologies; that’s the way the world works as long as we buy and sell here.

God bless you.