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Social Intelligence and Anger Management

It can be quite annoying when you feel cheated, or when someone owes you a debt and does not want to pay. Most times, the tendency is to want to take your pound of flesh from them. I have found out that emotional injury and blood might flow in the process.

I have in very recent times tried to help folks by giving them jobs to do in my farm fellowship. I found out that when you pay them in full, they will abandon the jobs after spending the money.

It was then I was informed why Africans were paid at the end of the month. If Africans received pay weekly or twice weekly from the colonial masters, they refused come to work for days. I am aware that folks are paid per hour in developed economies, even while working from home during the lockdown. At least my sons were paid that way when they worked in the US.

I have come to learn to let go some debtors, because in the pursuit of debt recovery, you might damage your reputation and future benefits from these debtors. Some of the debtors are passing through challenges you might not understand and they can’t even explain. Either because they are tired of explaining or they are ashamed.

My wife paid 3.5 Million Naira for a machine that has not been delivered for the past 3 years. Some times, it’s the fellow that calls to remind us that he would definitely deliver the machine, but that he is passing through challenges. Recently, his brother called to apologise on his behalf.

My major restraint is that I am weaning myself from anger and aggression, because popularity is a great responsibility and burden. What will people say concerning me? All the public capital that one has built up over time can be lost in the pursuit of a debt.

When a dog bites a human being, it’s rarely seen on social media, but when a human bites a dog, it will trend.

If a mad man opens his bum, it won’t trend, but if only a small portion of Dangote’s bum shows by mistake, it will have one million views, as if we did not know Dangote had a black bum before. Were you expecting a white or green bum with eyes and the dollar sign? From the video and my experience, there are battles we should leave to God and the conscience of people to fight for us.

From my experience, your debtors might become your creditors.

Be patient with some of them.

Pray for them.

Aforkirigbene torabor! which means, “don’t burn your fingers because of a snake fish that has only scales and bones with very little flesh“. That’s in my Urhobo language in Midwestern Nigeria.

I’m learning everyday.

No one is born wise.

God is still working on my temper.

I try to avoid troubles nowadays.

God bless you.

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