Most times people need help to get out of bad situations or problems that they get into. However, from my study of human nature and observations, there are people that you cannot help. Note, I did not say people you should not help. But for these people I will be talking about, even if you decide to help them, there will be no considerable change in their lives. They usually go back to the same mistakes over and over again.
1. Someone who is not willing to change
The willingness to accept change comes from within; you can’t force anyone to change. When you meet someone who repeatedly does what is wrong, and does not see the need to change or feel remorse despite corrections, you can never help such a person. If you have a friend, relative, spouse, or child like that, they will always cause you stress. If you are to live long and have peace of mind, you must understand that you can’t change every person and you can’t help every person.
To effectively help people, look for someone who is willing to change, than expend your energy on someone who is unwilling. Also, learn to distinguish between those you can help and those who are looking for excuses for their failures.
2. Someone who is not willing to learn
Such people have an opinion about every advise and correction you give to them. They are also usually very argumentative. Any person that cannot be corrected or advised will always be a problem.
3. Someone who does not learn from his/her mistakes
These are people who have suffered from consequences of past mistakes, but somehow derive pleasure from repeating the same mistakes. No matter the pain, trauma, deprivation, or embarrassment, such people have a masochistic streak of going through such experiences all over.
It is better to interact with such people from a distance, such that their mistakes do not inconvenience or cause you to expend more energy than necessary.
4. A poor person who has an ego and a temper
A hot-tempered person, who is poor and proud, usually makes trouble whenever (s)he is given an opportunity that might elevate him or her. They are hardly able to take any form of perceived slights. They always also have bad opinions about the many people they have worked for, and who supposedly treated them badly, but they never acknowledge their bad character.
5. A sluggard
A sluggard always gives excuses.
People who want to fail in life always find excuses to. If you want enough excuses, you will usually discover as many excuses you can but, most times, never a good reason to fail.
6. A restless person
Restless people find it difficult to stay in one place, or complete an idea or dream to fruition, which gives them the ability to acquire experience over time.
“A rolling stone gathers no moss”, according to Publilius Syrus.
Most restless people are very talented, but do not produce tangible results.
7. A chronic liar
People usually end up not trusting chronic liars; and trust is one of the major foundations of relationships. Quality relationships add value to your life. Life is an exchange and transfer of values, and without good relationships, it is difficult for a chronic liar to truly succeed at anything.
8. A pathological thief
Greed, which closely associates with kleptomania, pushes a pathological thief to betray trust in relationships. The problem, mostly, with Nigerian politicians is greed.
How can someone steal money that is meant to build hospitals?
9. An Ignorant Religious Fanatic
Most times religion creates illogicality and delusion. That’s why Karl Marx said, “Religion is the opium of the people”.
You cannot help an illogical person who is ignorant, cannot think for himself/herself, and cannot analyse issues. They are also usually poor.When you follow the doctrines of men and you fail to be logical and adjust to reality and the circumstances of life, religion becomes an assassin of the intellect.
10. A poor man with an appetite bigger than his capacity
Socrates said, “Man know thyself”
A poor man with an appetite for the following F’s can’t be helped:
- F1 – Females
Sex is cheap, but the consequences are expensive.
- F2 – Fermented drink
Any poor person who runs after alcohol is doomed to get into problem after problem
- F3 – Fashion/Flashy things
A man who runs after cars, dressing, and jewelry that are not commensurate with his capacity
- F4 – Food
He who has a large appetite for food cannot properly manage a business or save money from their jobs.
- F5 – Fantasy
- F6 – Friends
If you keep a lot of friends, how much time do you have to develop and grow yourself?
A Jealous Person
When someone is jealous of you, they really don’t want to be like you (which might be a good thing), or be better than you (which is even better); they usually want you to be like them or worse than them. For such people, there is very little you do for them that they appreciate. They can be so busy talking about people that they don’t have time to work on their lives. When a poor and backward person is envious and makes mockery of a rich, or articulate, or industrious person, you can never help such a person.
What you criticise, you cut to size; what you criticise, you short-circuit.
Someone With a Spirit of Immediate Gratification
Immediate gratification is one of the main problems we have in Nigeria. That’s why people steal money at every opportunity and position they find themselves, without thinking of the long-term consequences.
God Bless You.