The Mind of A Rapist: A Tribute To Uwa
Some years back, I was in a hotel room when I heard the screams of a young girl in the opposite set of rooms. The girl was shouting in Ibo language that she was about to die or that she was dead. It was a two-storey building.
I could not bear the sound; so with a pounding heart, I took a big belt with a big metallic end, and held it at the other end. I banged on the door and shouted “Open the door!” The male occupant refused to open the door. Then I shouted, “MOPOL break the door!”, and then a tall young man opened the door. MOPOL (Mobile Police Force) is a paramilitary arm of the Nigerian Police Force.
There was no police officer around; I tricked him. The young girl said that the man was her boss, who told her to come and collect something from the hotel. The naive salesgirl, who had just lost her father, went to see him, and he demanded sex from her. She refused, and it was an attempt to forcefully have sex with her that made her scream. The young girl, about 16 years old, was holding her torn panties in her hand and weeping profusely. She said she told the boss that her father just died, and how could he, the boss, want to do such a wicked thing to her.
I could not hold my anger; I barked out orders to him to kneel down, and he knelt down. I was now taller than him. I gave him a thunderous slap, and ordered him to run out of the hotel. By this time, hotel security and workers were around. The man scampered out of the hotel. With a pounding heart, I locked my door, and put a chair behind it to ensure nobody will find it easy to break the door. I handled the situation very quickly, with shock and awe, that he did not realise I was not a mobile policeman.
I want to concentrate on the male rapist, because the psychology of a male rapist is quite different from that of a female rapist.
The Mind of a Male Rapist
Desire for Control
Susan Brownmiller, in her book, Against Our Will, asserted that rape is not motivated by lust, but by the desire to control and dominate.
All men have sexual desires and lust, but not all men rape. To forcefully have sexual activity with an unwilling member of the opposite sex, against her wish, is rape even if you have had sexual relationship with her before. The time she did not assent to it is rape. Even if she is drunk or drugged, it is rape.
Many young men have been wrongly brought up to believe that women are of a lower class, and they are projected as sex objects. It is even subtly presented by religious folks. They will usually say that it is the way women expose their beautiful bodies that arouse men to rape them. Most men see sexually attractive women, but not all men are rapists. Men like beautiful cars, but not all men are car thieves. A rapist is sick and lacks self control.
There is a form of sexual perversion called sadism, where the male has fantasies of violently having sex with a woman, while inflicting pain, and she is in a helpless situation. They derive pleasure from inflicting pain on members of the opposite sex. They can inflict injuries or even choke the woman. When this is taken to extremes, the ultimate derivation of pleasure is the death of the other person.
The opposite of this is masochism. In this case, the male or female derives sexual pleasure when pain is inflicted on them.
Anger and vengeance
This is a combination of a sense of insecurity, inadequacy, anger, and the inability to accept rejection from a female. This also stems from the entitlement mentality. It is also associated with a violent nature. Such people with inadequacies usually join gangs with men of similar nature, who will most likely have such mental dispositions. That’s why you see gang rapes.
Many of the victims are known to the rapists. To avoid being caught, they usually kill their victims.
A rapist is a coward.
A lot of these weak men with internal anger are usually on drugs and alcohol; they can’t handle the reality of life.
A narcissistic male sees himself as the reason why everything exists. He has a right to everything and everyone. He has a sense of ownership. There is also a sense of superiority to others.
The way most religious people talk about submission of married women to their own husbands, is misinterpreted to mean all women should be submissive to all men. That’s not correct. A respectable man should not forcefully have sexual activity with his wife.
These are usually men with a defective personality. They have a deep fear of rejection and feeling of inadequacy, ironically, with a predator mentality. These kinds look for helpless victims like babies and young children. They are the type that use arms or violence to kidnap and rape their victims. They rape housemaids, step daughters, and rape and kill prostitutes or lonely women.
A rapist is conscious of his actions; his actions are premeditated and planned, and there are attempts to conceal their actions like wearing masks and blindfolding their victim.
A rapist dehumanizes, traumatizes, and is merciless. They don’t care for and respect humanity or institutions.
An Evil Gone Too Far
The issue of the rape and the subsequent death of Uwavera Omozuwa, a student of University of Benin, inside a church where she had gone to read is an abomination of the highest order. It is something that should not be mentioned in an enlightened environment like Benin City. The rapists have no fear of God and respect for anything sacred.
There are many girls on the streets looking for men to sleep with them. There are several cougars looking for young men to have sex with. Why go and rape a young girl who had gone to seek refuge in a church? Why will you rape a young girl in the house of worship and desecrate it? This is evil gone too far.
- Who opened the church for the young girl?
- If someone gave her the key to the church, where was that person when all this happened?
- If the rapist (or rapists) came from outside the church, why were they not seen by anybody including the holder of the key to the church?
- How come nobody heard her cries and struggle in the church compound and the surrounding buildings?
There are many questions begging for answers and they must be answered. The culprits must be caught and made to pay for their sins.
Thank God for the National Association of Nigerian Students and their actions so far. The public must supply information to the police in order to apprehend the criminals. Women organisations including female lawyers, journalists, politicians, and governors’ wives must stand up and be counted now. Religious groups must stand up and be counted.
This crime took place in a church building; it can happen anywhere.
May God strengthen the family of the deceased, and may God grant this young girl eternal rest.
All men of goodwill must stand up and say it loud, “Not in our character, and never again”.