The irony of life is that people who live beyond themselves often achieve more meaningful and lasting things. Those who dedicate their lives to advancing the Kingdom of God, expanding God’s purposes and serving humanity are often the ones who demonstrate remarkable strength, commitment and endurance.
Think about people such as Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army. Their lives remind us that there is something greater than personal comfort, wealth or recognition. A life devoted to a purpose beyond oneself can make a lasting impact on humanity.
I have also observed that people who are crafty, selfish and driven entirely by personal interests may appear to succeed for a while. They may manipulate others, take advantage of opportunities and enjoy temporary benefits. But greed and selfishness often carry their own consequences.
A person who lacks discipline and thinks only about personal gain eventually creates problems for himself. Relationships become transactional, trust disappears, and the very habits that once seemed profitable can lead to disaster.
This is a lesson we should learn early in life: do not build your life around personal interest alone.
I once travelled at night to Morondava in Madagascar. During the journey, I heard the song African Queen. It was an emotional experience. I felt proud and happy to hear a Nigerian artist’s music playing so far away from home.
But that experience also made me reflect on the difference between an entertainer’s public image and the reality behind it.
Sometimes, what is presented to an audience is an attractive image designed to capture attention, stimulate emotions and encourage people to spend their money. Fans may become emotionally attached to the personality they see, without necessarily knowing the person behind the image.
The artist has an interest. The manager has an interest. The fans have their own interests. Even those who associate with celebrities may be pursuing personal benefits.
The important question is whether we are thinking critically about the people and lifestyles we admire. Do not allow entertainment, fame or emotional attachment to make you abandon your judgement.
Another important lesson I have learnt is the need to protect yourself from people who may take advantage of your trust.
You can be open with people without exposing every part of your life to them. You can be friendly without making yourself vulnerable. You can help others without giving them unlimited access to your resources and personal affairs.
I have learnt to be careful about the information I share and the level of access I give people. This is not necessarily a sign of suspicion or hostility. It is a recognition that wisdom requires boundaries.
Not everyone who comes close to you has your best interests at heart. Some people may take advantage of your generosity, confidence or desire to help.
Therefore, be discerning about the people you trust.
One practical lesson I learnt through experience concerns giving money.
In the past, I sometimes gave people money without clearly stating what the money was meant for. Over time, I discovered that this approach could lead to losses and misunderstandings.
I changed my approach. Whenever I give someone money for a particular purpose, I make sure the purpose is clearly stated. If the money is for a survey, I indicate that. If it is for a particular task or project, I document it accordingly.
This allows me to refer to the transaction later and know exactly what the money was given for.
It is a simple practice, but it has helped me protect my interests and reduce unnecessary losses.
Do not confuse accountability with wickedness. When you document financial transactions, set boundaries and ask questions about how your resources are used, you are not being foolish or difficult. You are exercising wisdom.
There are people who look for opportunities to exploit the weaknesses of others. They may take advantage of your kindness, financial resources, emotions or desire for companionship.
You must learn to recognise such behaviour and protect yourself.
This does not mean you should live in fear or suspect everyone around you. It means you should combine kindness with discernment. Trust should be built through consistent character and responsible conduct, not simply through familiarity or emotional attachment.
Do not give people unnecessary opportunities to destroy what you have worked hard to build.
Take a moment to examine your relationships, decisions and habits.
- Are you living only for your personal interests, or are you contributing to something greater than yourself?
- Are you allowing fame, entertainment or emotional attachment to influence your judgement?
- Do you trust people without considering their character?
- Are you careless with your money and other resources?
- Have you established healthy boundaries in your personal and professional relationships?
A successful life requires both generosity and wisdom. You must be willing to serve others, but you must also understand the importance of protecting yourself.
Do not spend your life pursuing only what benefits you. Find a purpose that goes beyond your personal comfort. Contribute to humanity, serve others and build something that will have value beyond your immediate needs.
At the same time, do not make yourself an easy target for exploitation. Be careful with your trust, your money, your relationships and the information you share.
Live beyond yourself, but do not surrender your judgement. Be generous, but establish boundaries. Help people, but protect your interests.
That is one of the important lessons we must learn early in life.
I remain your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki. I hope you have learnt something from this. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, Dr. Charles Apoki.
