There are some trends that I’ve been trying to dispel. I just addressed one that says a man should ejaculate 21 times a month as a preventive measure for prostatic cancer. There is no scientific research to support that assertion. There has been a deliberate attempt to promote promiscuity among males.
So the question arises: are they right to say that the male species is naturally polygamous? I will try to let you know that it is not true.
I started very early, at a young age, and I did things that were sinful. I was watching adult films in the university. But immediately I got born again, there were decisions I made.
Now, there are some things you must understand about the male species. When Eve was intentionally crafted for Adam, he was excited—he was attracted to Eve. So there is the natural wiring of the male species to be attracted to the female species. There is a certain age where that becomes more domineering, usually from around 13 or 14 years upward. You will see that when a young man reaches a certain age, he has night emissions. It is the body preparing him for productivity—male productivity. It is a natural, non-sinful process.
The male is wired for the propagation of the human race. Babies even have erections in the womb—ultrasounds have shown this. If the male is not attracted to the female species, propagation will not take place. It is the same with animals—from birds to mammals to fishes. It is a sustenance drive.
Now, it is a design that needs regulation, like every other design God has placed in man.
The hunger stimulus needs to be regulated. If you eat too much, you will become obese. I regulate what I eat, what I drink, and how I use my body. Just like the sexual drive, it needs to be regulated.
Sleep is designed for the system to reboot itself, but excessive sleep leads to poverty. If you don’t engage in activities, your muscles will waste, your bones will lose calcium, and your heart will become weak. Thirst is designed for rehydration, but excessive water intake can lead to water intoxication and damage your system.
So God set rules for the perfection of man. Man fell short, and God established guardrails to prevent man from becoming reckless and destroying himself.
That is why, during the Exodus period, laws were given—do not commit adultery, do not lust, do not covet your neighbour’s wife, do not defile a woman, do not practise incest. Incest propagates weak genes.
The drives for food, water, fear, security, and reproduction operate from the primitive brain—the amygdala. Like animals, these impulses can be strong. But there is also the prefrontal cortex—the governor of the mind—which is meant to regulate these desires.
Now, there was polygamy in earlier eras—particularly in agrarian societies where more hands were needed for farming, protection, and provision. However, as man evolved, new standards emerged. For leadership, a man should be the husband of one wife.
Marriage, in the sight of God, is a covenant. It is a commitment to fidelity. It is consecration—you separate yourselves unto each other. It requires consciousness, responsibility, and an understanding of the consequences of breaking that covenant.
Going into marriage means you have reached the age of self-control. An enlightened man sees the future and understands the consequences of promiscuity, adultery, and polygamy.
Polygamy has done a lot of damage where it is practised. Even in Nigeria, many of the regions experiencing violence and instability are areas where promiscuity is tolerated.
It is tragic that even some Christians attempt to promote these ideas.
I once spoke to about 4,000 men in a fellowship and told them I do not commit adultery. Some of them went home questioning if it was possible. Not every person is as reckless or as undisciplined. Not every person lacks self-control or self-worth.
Cheap sex is expensive.
If you are a man, have self-respect. Dignify yourself. I have value for myself.
There are wrong belief systems in people’s minds—shaped by negative influences, peer pressure, and cultural tendencies. Statements like “a big man marries many wives” are simply not true.
Many disciplined men practise fidelity. It is a matter of self-control and the grace of God.
I get tempted. I get attracted. But I am disciplined, and the grace of God helps me.
Men are not naturally polygamous. Neither are they meant to move from one partner to another repeatedly.
I have been married to one woman for 40 years and have not committed adultery by the grace of God.
When I talk about challenges in my marriage, it is to let you know there is no perfect marriage. I have challenges with my wife and children, and they have challenges with me. But we keep pressing forward.
If the ideal is not available, we make the best of what is available because we reverence God.
God bless you.
