I am Dr. Charles Apoki, and today, I want to share an experience that left a deep impression on me. This is not about any specific person, nor is it meant to make anyone uncomfortable. Rather, it is a reminder for us to check on our classmates, childhood friends, and schoolmates.
Recently, while driving through a community with Pastor Abraham, I saw a man crossing the road. His hair was grey, and he looked unkempt and unhealthy. He was my classmate from Government College, Ughelli, where we call ourselves Mariners. Our slogan is “Keep the Ship Sailing,” emphasizing that we support each other. Seeing my classmate in that state felt like seeing my own blood brother in distress.
Coincidentally, some of my classmates were having a meeting in Lagos at the office of Matthew Adav, a successful entrepreneur managing one of Africa’s biggest energy companies. When I told them about our struggling classmate, they immediately urged me to find him. They even committed to covering his medical expenses if needed.
I soon got his contact and invited him to my house. When he arrived, I was deeply saddened by his condition. He had been sick for years, battling diabetes. His first wife had left him, and even those he had helped in the past had abandoned him. Despite our different religious beliefs, humanity remains our primary duty.
I remembered the words of Jesus: “When I was hungry, did you feed me? When I was sick, did you visit me?” These scriptures have guided my charity work for years. Moved with compassion, I gave him a check of ₦50,000. His face lit up with joy, and he thanked me in a way that deeply touched my heart. Later, Matthew Adav promised to clear his four years’ rent of ₦1 million.
A few days ago, he called again, reminding me about the rent. Initially, I felt a bit irritated, wondering why he had waited so long to reach out. But as I stepped into the bathroom, a thought struck me: “At a certain stage in life, you no longer labor for yourself. You create wealth to meet the needs of others.” How much food can one eat? How many clothes can one wear? How many beds can one sleep on? True wealth is measured by how many lives you touch.
I realized that if my classmate was still struggling, then I, too, was not as wealthy as I thought. You are not richer than your responsibilities. If your community is poor, you are poor. If your country is backward, you are not truly rich. That is why I admire Aliko Dangote—despite any criticisms, he keeps his investments in Nigeria, uplifting the economy.
When my classmate came back, he looked healthier. He was so grateful and even said, “God has used you to save my life.” This touched me. I gave him a check for another year’s rent.
A while later, I received a call from a woman. She was the wife of another junior schoolmate who had recently passed away. She had found my contact while scrolling through his phone. She was struggling, and after confirming with another schoolmate, I sent her some money. I never met her before, but helping her was the right thing to do.
Too often, we gather to mourn people after they die, spending money on funerals but neglecting to check on them when they were alive. A simple phone call could have changed their situation. I have contributed ₦200,000 towards a burial before—but imagine if I had spent a mere ₦2,000 earlier to save that person’s life.
This experience has led me to reconnect with many of my old friends. I have called several of my classmates, some of whom I haven’t seen in over 40 years. The friendships formed in our youth—when we had no wealth, titles, or privileges—are often the most enduring. As we age, we must nurture these relationships.
Old brooms scrub better than new ones. Let us remember to check on each other while we are still alive. Don’t be like Cain, who asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Call someone today.
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—Dr. Charles Apoki.
