For someone who has been married for nearly 40 years, I have learned a thing or two about keeping the spark alive.

The Delusion vs. Reality:

I once had a romantic notion of marriage: I envisioned myself riding a big bike with my wife, her long hair flying behind us as we traveled from Canon to Cairo. However, reality turned out quite differently. I married a deeply spiritual, reserved woman who is focused on her job and businesses. Adjusting to this reality was necessary.

The Monotony of Aging:

As you grow older, marriage can feel monotonous if you are not careful. Wearing the same clothes, attending the same church, and going to the same ceremonies can start to feel like a prison. Especially when the children have left the house, it is easy to fall into a routine of conflict over trivial matters.

Finding Joy in Small Things:

One of the keys to spicing up an old marriage is to find joy in small things. For instance, I have an old, faded jeans shirt that I still love. It is a reminder that, like clothes, marriages may show signs of wear but can still hold great value and bring joy.

Creating Space:

I have learned to create space for my wife to be herself. She loves her work, interacting with school children, and her small businesses. Instead of conflict, I let her enjoy what she loves. This mutual respect and understanding are crucial.

Financial and Emotional Gestures:

Recently, my wife attended a ceremony looking stunning in a dress our daughter bought for her. Seeing her so happy, I decided to surprise her with new Naira notes, blessing her as if we were at a ceremony. It brought her immense joy. Gestures like these—financial or otherwise—can create moments of happiness and connection.

Different Tastes, Mutual Respect:

We have different tastes: I enjoy traveling, while my wife prefers staying home. Instead of causing conflict, we respect each other’s preferences. She goes to parties and ceremonies, which I avoid. This mutual respect allows each of us to find joy in our ways.

Conclusion: Faithfulness and Enjoyment

At this age, physical intimacy may not be as central as it once was, but remaining faithful and finding other ways to connect is vital. Enjoy each other’s company and create happy moments. Remember, life is short, and it is important to find joy and fulfillment in each day.

Remember, you are a project, and God has a plan for you. Stay blessed and keep the spark alive in your marriage!

God bless you all.

One Comment

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