Today, I want to discuss the reality of modern marriages. This topic is essential, and I aim to share some critical insights for those new to my channel or those who might have missed previous discussions.
Understanding the Reality of Marriage
Marriage: Enjoyment and Endurance
Marriage is not just about enjoyment; it requires endurance as well. Falling in love is a chemical experience driven by hormones like oxytocin and testosterone. Over time, these hormone levels drop, and the initial attraction wanes. This is when reality sets in, and the true challenges of marriage begin.
Financial Struggles
For many, especially those not from wealthy backgrounds, marriage brings financial challenges. From wedding expenses to maintaining a household, the financial burden can be significant. I had to work multiple jobs to support my family, demonstrating that financial stability requires hard work and dedication.
Shared Responsibilities
As children come into the picture, the stress on your partner increases. Marriage is not just about romance and intimacy; it requires managing responsibilities together. Supporting each other through household tasks and child-rearing is crucial for a balanced relationship.
The Dynamics of Family Bonds
Understand that your wife and children share a unique bond that might seem stronger than your bond with them. This is natural. Do not feel threatened but instead work to strengthen your relationship with them. Realize that your wife is another man’s child and treat her with respect and care.
Facing Reality
Marriage is demanding, and it involves handling in-laws, tenants, workers, and customers. This requires maturity and understanding. Your performance in various aspects of life, including intimacy, will change over time. Accept these changes and adapt to maintain harmony.
Modern Marriages: Beyond Traditional and Biblical Norms
Government and Cultural Influences
Modern marriages are influenced by governmental laws and cultural practices, not just biblical teachings. Those living in the diaspora must blend these aspects to navigate their marital relationships effectively. The reality of your environment will significantly impact your marriage.
Respecting Your Partner’s Background
The person you marry significantly affects your relationship dynamics. Respect your partner’s experiences and background. If your spouse has a demanding job, such as a military position, acknowledge and respect the challenges they face.
Independence and Cooperation
Allow your partner to have control over certain aspects of life. For instance, if your wife financially supports her family, do not interfere unnecessarily. Trust her judgment and focus on maximizing your potential while allowing her to do the same.
Conclusion
The reality of modern marriages involves balancing enjoyment and endurance, managing financial and household responsibilities, and adapting to the changing dynamics of family bonds. Respect and understanding are crucial for a successful marriage. Embrace these realities, and you will build a stronger, more resilient relationship.
I remain your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki. God bless you.
