One of the most difficult phenomena to define is love. Church folks talk about agape love, which is unconditional love. That one is very, very rare—only God truly has it.
Now, beyond agape love, there is philia love—the love between brothers, sisters, and family members. Then there is eros, which is what I call a hormonal reaction, involving oxytocin secretion—the attraction between a male and a female. That is the one that often gets people trapped.
Many people who think they are in love are actually trapped. The truth is this: immediately you start losing yourself, it is no longer love. The Bible says, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” Once you start losing your self-respect, dignity, and self-worth because of a relationship, it is no longer love.
Once you suspend your thinking because of someone, you are already in a trap. It took me time to come to this realization.
If you study people who claim to be in love, you will see them display affection everywhere. But when they separate, you will see venom being spilled. There are only a few exceptions.
Take Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates—they separated peacefully without mudslinging. Or Tiger Woods and his former spouse. But most times, people try to tear each other down.
From observing this, I have found that the best approach to life is to become responsible.
The Bible says, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” That means love is expressed through responsibility and value creation.
You must become responsible to yourself—make yourself functional, create value. Value is the currency of life. When you create value, people will value you.
That is the greatest form of love—for yourself and from others.
I spoke at the Royal Banquet Hall of the Presidential Hotel. I talked about the Holy Spirit and futuristic thinking in business—strategy, insight, and impact.
Some tables cost ₦1.5 million, others ₦150,000, yet after speaking, people were eager to take pictures with me. It was not because of my face, my nose, my beard, or my colour—it was because of the value I dispensed.
Later, at a hotel for dinner, even though I had already eaten and was not going to eat again, people kept coming to take pictures. Young, elitist men stood up in excitement.
It was not about appearance—it was about value.
A lot of young girls focus on dressing, makeup, and physical attraction. Yes, you might attract someone, but that attraction is often just lust.
I saw a lady stepping out of a taxi, exposing herself. I looked briefly, then turned away. It had no value to me. It adds nothing to someone who is thinking about the future, building value, and creating impact.
The same applies to men—muscles, beards, physical features—these are of little value to someone focused on building a meaningful life.
That erotic attraction is at the base level—even animals have it.
What matters is value.
I want to create value. I want to radiate value. I want to be responsible. I want to rule over my emotions.
Yesterday, there was food, but I chose not to eat because I had already eaten one meal. I want to remain vibrant and strong into my 90s.
So create models, businesses, wealth, and spiritual influence. When you do that, people will come to you.
If you chase love, you will be hurt, because people are inherently self-interested.
But when you prioritize value creation, you live beyond yourself.
At some point in life, when the hair turns grey, life is no longer about pleasure. It is about responsibility.
There was a time I stopped caring whether people liked me or not. That was when I began to create real value—value people are willing to pay for, associate with, and celebrate.
As I travel, people recognize me. At checkpoints, once they see my face, attitudes change. That is value.
I have become more reclusive. I do not attend ceremonies often. I do not spray money. I do not eat or drink in public. I stay within myself and manufacture value.
Think about it—you use an iPhone, but do you know the person who created it? No. Yet you value the product.
People meet me and say, “I am happy to finally meet you.” It is not about looks—it is about value.
People even pay from the United States and the UK just to talk to me. Is it my appearance? No. It is the value I have created.
You can wear simple clothes, have a simple hairstyle, and still attract people—if you create value.
The Bible says in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men…” When you shine, you produce visibility, direction, and productivity. Light enhances growth.
When you create value, people will be drawn to you.
Stop struggling with superficial things. It is not about how short or tight your clothes are. It is about the value you create.
Then you will have real liberty.
Real liberty.
We have books on Amazon, hard copies, and e-books. We also have properties for sale.
God bless you.
