As you get older, the following things tend to happen. I didn’t say they must happen. They tend to happen. When I did my first video on the reality of aging, a lot of inexperienced people came there and started talking. But with time, I have been proven right — proven very correctly. One of the things you will realize as you get older is that everything will change. Your body will change. Anticipate it and adjust.
I wasn’t like this when I came to this town at the age of 40. I wasn’t wearing these windshields. I could travel, preach, jump, wake up very early by 5 or 6 and be on my way to Aba to preach. I dare not do that now. I could do all-night prayers in churches. I dare not do that now. I could write throughout the night. I dare not do that now.
There were days I preached in three places in one day. I won’t do that now. And my wife told me then, put things in place so that if they don’t invite you, you will have what you are doing. I’m so happy I listened to that counsel.
Counsel number two: your appetite will change
I’m attempting to eat one meal a day, reducing the quantity, and it’s affecting my blood pressure positively. From the age of 60, I started measuring my BP morning and evening. Thank God for the ultra-thin slimming machine my friend bought for me. It vibrates my body and helps my BP to come down. Appetite for many things goes down. Desire to drive cars goes down I prefer to trek. Receiving visitors can become irritating. I just want to be alone sometimes. Your environment will change — your business environment, religious environment, community, nation.
I had classmates I wanted to visit, but traveling by road now is stressful. In those days, I left Benin in the evening and got to Kaduna at night. You dare not do that now.
Your values will change. The pursuit of money loses meaning. Anything that will stress me, I leave it.
But there are core values that don’t change:
I don’t drive against traffic
I don’t throw refuse from my car
I don’t defraud people
I don’t commit adultery
I speak the truth
At this age, those values become more intense. Who are they going to fear? What can they do to me?
Technology will change. I’m running a global church without borders now. I preach here and reach more people than I would have reached running a church or TV ministry.
Whatever you do, bring technology into it. Relearn, unlearn, and adapt. If you’re not ready to use AI, you’re in trouble.
People around you will change. Your wife will change.
She becomes bolder. The things she didn’t tell you before, she will tell you now. Her roots are deep in the family. Sometimes she becomes more authoritative.
You’ll be wondering, is this that small girl I toasted? Accept it. That’s how people evolve.
Your children become independent. You must use diplomacy. You can’t bully them anymore. If not, you will scatter your family.
Sometimes your wife becomes confrontational. As you get older, you don’t have energy for disputes. Learn to let go.
Children lean more toward their mothers. Thank God my wife and I are usually on the same page. Where my foot will cause discord, I allow her to handle it.
Life becomes monotonous. Traveling to some places becomes boring. I now want to visit Rwanda, Burundi, Kenya, Uganda, Asia.
Loneliness comes. Urban life is terrible. People live like honeybees in a beehive. You don’t know your neighbor’s name.
Growing old overseas as a Black man is hard. Bills, taxes, stress. The margin between income and expenses is small.
Some children abroad say they can’t afford to raise children. Raising children in developed societies takes money, time, energy, and emotions.
When last did you call your parents?
When last did you visit them?
When last did you send them money?
If your parents live with you overseas, I commend you and your spouse. But if you are an old person living with your children overseas — behave yourself. Don’t interfere in their marriages. Their style is different.
Loneliness is real. What helped me was having friends much younger than I am. They keep me company, teach me things, fix my phone, help me evolve.
Develop new hobbies
I rediscovered my humour and started making comical videos. It gives me joy.
Develop systems that generate cash flow in your 40s and 50s, Waiting for children to bring money can kill you. Keep small money in different places. I leave money in books and Bibles. Cash flow matters.
Be a little selfish. Take care of your body. Sleep well. Spoil yourself a little. Treasure your spouse. This is not the time to manufacture quarrels.
Old age is expensive. Very expensive. Health care is costly, Some injections cost ₦400,000. Medications cost ₦52,000 monthly. Dental care is expensive.
Your eyes
Your legs
Your ears
Your teeth
What makes old age difficult is inability to see or walk. Exercise your legs. Walk gently. You don’t need rigorous exercise. Hip replacement is expensive. Knee replacement is expensive. Have something that generates revenue to care for yourself.
Pray this prayer:
My children will not carry my urine.
My children will not carry my excrement.
I will not wear diapers.
I will walk erect.
I will see into old age like Moses.
Say amen
Long life is good, but don’t become a burden. Pray you can afford caregivers. Pray you live where extended family can help.
Children, please call your parents. Old age is lonely. May we age with dignity, strength, wisdom, and peace.
Amen.
