I am your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki. Today, I want to address a critical issue: desperation and its devastating impact on our values and society. It is a subject we must confront if we hope to build a better nation.
Desperation is a state where one is willing to do anything—often at the expense of their integrity and soul—to achieve their desires. While ambition, drive, and motivation are commendable, they must never be pursued at the cost of one’s humanity. As the Bible says, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?”
The Roots of Desperation
Desperation arises from several factors:
- Fear of the Future: Many Nigerians are consumed by fear—fear of poverty, failure, or being left behind.
- Unmet Emotional Needs: Childhood trauma and neglect often fuel a desire to fill emotional voids through materialism or societal validation.
- Low Self-Esteem: When people lack self-worth, they seek external validation through wealth, appearances, or associations.
- Socioeconomic Pressures: Poverty and inequality have made many willing to compromise their values for survival.
The Consequences of Desperation
Desperation has led to unimaginable acts in our society. Consider the young man in my maternal community who killed his friend to build a house or the boy who attempted to harm his mother for wealth. These acts reflect a loss of humanity driven by desperation.
In our communities, desperation manifests in various ways:
- Cutthroat Competition: People push and shove to achieve what others have, disregarding their unique paths in life.
- Corruption and Manipulation: Desperate individuals are easily exploited by corrupt leaders and systems.
- Superficial Validation: We see young people overdressing, flaunting wealth, or compromising morals to impress others.
A Personal Stand Against Desperation
I grew up in a modest household. My father, a security man, taught me to value integrity over material possessions. These principles guide my life. I have turned down opportunities that compromised my values, even when they seemed prestigious.
Desperation does not define me. I know who I am and what I stand for. True success is not about possessions or positions but about living with integrity and purpose.
The Role of Leadership
Desperation thrives in a society where leaders lack vision. Instead of creating opportunities and reducing poverty, our leaders weaponize poverty to keep people dependent and desperate. Desperation fuels crime, banditry, and societal decay.
If we invest in education, job creation, and social development, we will reduce the desperation that drives people to acts of self-destruction. Visionary leadership is essential for national transformation.
Overcoming Desperation
To overcome desperation, we must:
- Rediscover Our Values: Let us teach the next generation the importance of integrity and contentment.
- Pursue Purpose, Not Validation: Each person has a unique path. Embrace it instead of competing with others.
- Reject Poverty Mentality: Wealth is not the ultimate measure of success. Learn to live within your means and pursue meaningful goals.
Desperation has turned us into a society that cannibalizes itself. But we can change this narrative. We must rebuild our values, prioritize visionary leadership, and guard against desperation in our lives.
I remain Dr. Charles Apoki. Let us build a better Nigeria, one value at a time. God bless you!
