I am your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki. Today, I want to challenge a mindset that has entrenched itself in our society: the entitlement mentality. Using the example of Mary, the mother of Jesus, let us explore why dependency and parasitism are detrimental to personal and societal progress.
Misinterpreting the Christmas Story
Many people misapply the Christmas narrative to justify a culture of giveaways and charity during this season. While it is true that God gave us Jesus Christ as a gift to save humanity, He did not command us to give gifts or celebrate Christmas as a festival. Christmas, as we know it, is a human tradition, influenced heavily by Western customs. The giving of gifts by the wise men—gold, frankincense, and myrrh—was specific and symbolic. These were not consumables or handouts; they were valuable items that signified honor, worship, and preparation for the future.
Mary and Joseph’s story is not one of entitlement or dependency. Joseph was a skilled and financially independent man. He could afford to pay for an inn, and he owned a donkey. More importantly, his vocational skills made him geographically mobile. When the angel instructed him to flee to Egypt, Joseph had the capacity to sustain his family in a foreign land. He was a professional, proficient in his craft, and capable of producing wealth.
No Palliatives for Mary
Even though Mary was carrying the Savior of the world, God did not provide her with special palliatives. She and Joseph undertook an arduous journey to Bethlehem when she was full-term in her pregnancy. Historical accounts estimate the journey to be about 86 miles, taking two days on rough terrain. Mary did not complain, demand assistance, or develop an entitlement mentality.
When they arrived in Bethlehem, there was no room for them in the inn. Joseph, being resourceful, found an alternative. Mary delivered her baby without a midwife or modern medical interventions. She endured the pain, wrapped the baby Jesus in what was available, and laid Him in a manger. It was only after the birth that angels announced the good news and wise men came with their gifts.
Lessons for Today
Mary and Joseph’s story teaches us resilience, resourcefulness, and responsibility. Unfortunately, many people today have cultivated a parasitic mindset. They expect handouts during festive seasons, often framing these expectations in religious or cultural terms. This entitlement mentality has contributed to widespread poverty and stagnation.
Pregnancy, for instance, should not be treated as an emergency created by negligence or a lack of planning. I once encountered a pregnant woman who asked me for financial assistance while her husband sat idly nearby. I told her that I, a medical doctor, was heading to my farm to uproot cassava—a task I had prepared for with effort and diligence. Why should I subsidize their negligence with my hard work?
Independence Over Dependency
In developed countries, systems exist to support people in need, but these systems are not designed to encourage laziness. Respectable individuals strive to avoid dependency, even when temporary assistance is available. Similarly, in our context, we must learn to take care of our basic needs and plan for the future.
The Bible says, “The hand that does not work should not eat.” This principle should guide us. Mary and Joseph’s story exemplifies this ethic. Even in challenging circumstances, they did not rely on others to carry their burdens. Instead, they took responsibility for their situation and moved forward with determination.
Practical Advice for the Festive Season
As we approach the New Year, let us reject the entitlement mentality. Plan your expenses wisely. Do not spend all your money celebrating without preparing for January, which often feels like the longest month of the year. Avoid reckless spending and resist the pressure to give your first salary or income as “first fruits” to any individual or organization. The biblical concept of first fruits referred to agricultural produce, not entire salaries.
Be productive, take responsibility, and invest in your future. If you lose something, like my three acres of cassava farm that recently got burnt, do not despair. Replant, rebuild, and keep moving forward.
Upcoming Webinar and Opportunities
I invite you to join my upcoming webinar, “Hitting the Ground Running Financially in 2025,” in January. Register now to enjoy a 5,000 Naira discount before the end of December. Additionally, I have properties for sale; interested buyers can reach out.
Let us embrace responsibility and reject entitlement. Those with ears, let them hear.
God bless you.
Dr. Charles Apoki.
