Hello, friends. I’m Dr. Charles Apoki, and today, I want to share a piece of my journey from 36 years ago, in hopes that it encourages anyone going through a challenging time. Life isn’t always smooth, and often, our most profound growth comes from weathering the toughest storms.
It was early one morning, around 4 or 5 a.m., when I found myself in the labor room with my wife. As a doctor, I was used to helping with deliveries, so I was there when our child came into this world. But nothing could have prepared us for the condition he was born with—a cleft lip and palate. As I held my son, I saw the physical challenges he would face, and my heart sank. This wasn’t what we had imagined.
At 29 years old, I was living in the East, away from family, and caring for two paralyzed parents—one from spinal cord injury and the other from stroke. I was alone, with only my wife and two other young children. On top of everything, my car had issues, and our landlord had asked us to vacate. I was overwhelmed by a flood of emotions and questions. But instead of turning to blame or asking why, I embraced this path, trusting God had a purpose even in this pain.
For my son, life began with immediate challenges. He couldn’t nurse naturally, so we had to feed him by hand, and every cry threatened to reopen his lip. We traveled to Port Harcourt, hoping specialists there could help. But they offered little direction, and after frustration and disappointment, we decided to take him back. My daughter, too, developed leg issues and needed corrective surgery at the National Orthopedic Hospital in Enugu. Through it all, my wife and I faced long drives, sleepless nights under trees outside hospital wards, and more surgeries than I can recount. Despite everything, we remained together, trusting that God had a purpose for us and our children.
Many people advised us, encouraged us, and prayed for us along the way. My mentor, Reverend John Marshall, gave us the strength to believe in our son’s future, reminding us that God had a special plan for him. A woman named Mrs. Thea assured us that children with such challenges often turn out to be brilliant. We held onto these words, and instead of blaming the devil or focusing on the negative, we spoke life into our son and prophesied greatness over him.
With time, our son’s path unfolded beautifully. He excelled academically, became an orthopedic surgeon, and started a business at an early age. Today, he’s married, with a beautiful family of his own. When I look back, I see how each trial molded us and prepared us to serve others. The pain taught me resilience and empathy, helping me understand the struggles that families with similar challenges endure.
Now, as a way of giving back, I’m committed to helping children with cleft lip and palate get the medical care they need, sometimes even covering surgery costs. Through these experiences, I’ve learned that suffering isn’t always a sign of failure or spiritual attack—it’s often a testament to the strength God is building within us.
To anyone facing similar trials, take heart. You may be going through the valley today, but remember, there’s a purpose to the pain, and God is with you every step of the way. This is my story, my song, and I hope it encourages you to press on, knowing that you’re not alone. I have a vision to build a specialist hospital in my father’s community, to bring hope and healing to others as God has done for me.
Thank you for being part of this journey. God bless you.
Dr. Charles Apoki
