Hello, I’m Dr. Charles Apoki, specking to you from Germany on this first day of November 2024. As much as I’ve enjoyed my time here, three things are constantly on my mind, each deeply tied to my roots, values, and purpose. Let me share these with you because they hold valuable lessons in building strong relationships, pursuing long-term visions, and living with intention.
1. Family First: My Heart is with My Wife
I can’t wait to return home to my wife. We’ve been married for 39 years, and I’ve known her since she was 19 and I was 21. When we met, I told her I wanted a partner to grow up with, and that’s exactly what we’ve done. She’s a unique woman, not one for material things or extensive travel. I remember when I traveled to Romania in 2012 for our eldest son’s graduation; she called me to say, “Please, don’t buy me anything.” She’s never been one for jewelry or souvenirs, but I bought a few things for her anyway.
One of the secrets of a lasting marriage is knowing when to be together and when to let each other breathe. Traveling alone has allowed me to experience things freely with my sons and act with the kind of playfulness she might not enjoy. Yet, in this separation, we’re both eager to reunite. I know she’s at home, preparing my favorite banga soup, waiting for my return. This “married but single” principle is a key to any relationship—let each partner grow individually, and it creates an eagerness to be together again.
2. Homeward Bound: My Heart Longs for Nigeria
No matter how nice life is here in Europe, I never sleep well the night before I return home. There’s a part of me that is always eager to go back, to continue what I’ve started and to work on projects that align with my purpose. One project close to my heart is the polytechnic I’m building in Nigeria. After seeing schools here, I am more motivated than ever to finish it to the best specifications. Despite any challenges our leaders may create, I’m committed to building a system that aligns with my vision of quality education and personal development in Nigeria. We can create change by starting where we are, building our “micro-economies” that reflect our dreams and values.
3. Intentional Living: The Secret to a Fulfilled Life
Today, I visited my son’s hospital here in Germany, and the level of care and professionalism inspired me. It was a far cry from the medical practice I experienced back in Nigeria, but I can’t say I’m surprised—this has been a long-term vision. Years ago, in my book Hold on to Your Vision, which I wrote in 1998, I shared my dream of raising a global family. I envisioned my children achieving things I could only dream of back then, and this was a result of sacrifice, delayed gratification, and constant investment in our future.
True success is intentional. It is not about sudden blessings or over-spiritualizing events; it’s about setting a vision and taking steps daily toward it. Be willing to sacrifice, defer immediate rewards, and continuously invest in your dreams. This journey has not been easy, but seeing my family’s achievements today is the reward for years of determination and a commitment to purpose.
As I prepare to return home, these reflections remind me of the importance of family, a deep-rooted connection to one’s homeland, and the power of long-term, intentional planning. These values have shaped my life and will continue to guide my steps.
God bless you all, and remember to live with purpose and intention.
Your friend,
Dr. Charles Apoki
