Hello everyone, today I am reflecting on something deeply personal to me—family, sacrifice, and the joy of delayed gratification. As I speak to you from the beautiful outskirts of a serene lake in Europe, I am reminded of how far the journey has been. The mountains, the lake, and the peace of this place make it easy to reflect on the struggles, the sacrifices, and the victories.
I recently left Bucharest, where I visited my last child. It was hard to leave, almost like a piece of me was staying behind. You see, I married young, and my wife and I used our youthful energy to raise our children, despite the hardships. The economy was tough then, just as it is now, but we practiced delayed gratification. We didn’t compare ourselves to others or fall into the trap of competitive spending. We simply managed.
In the early years of our marriage, I did everything to support my family—practicing medicine, selling cars, importing fish meal, and even retailing drips. There was a time I had to sleep in a mechanic shop after selling products in Enugu because there was no vehicle back. But I always knew that these sacrifices would yield results. That’s why I wrote my book, There’s a Place Called There.
Now, I am in Europe, not because I am looking for a place to preach like I once did, but because my children, the ones I sacrificed for, are funding this trip. They rented a beautiful apartment for me here, booked my flights, and I haven’t had to pay a single penny. This is the fruit of investing in family.
The Importance of Delayed Gratification
For those of you yet to marry or who are raising families, remember this: delayed gratification is key. Don’t be tempted by immediate pleasures or try to live up to others’ standards. Sacrifice now so you can enjoy later. I used to drive old cars and invest in things that had lasting value. Today, I can enjoy the best because I waited.
We made academics a priority in our household, just as my father emphasized education. Education is a liberator, a leveler. It lifts you up. No matter what stage of life you marry or have children, the principle is the same—build a strong foundation in your family, emphasize education, and invest in your children.
Raising Children: It’s About Responsibility, Not Investment
A question I get asked often is, “How do you raise children without expecting anything in return?” My father, a man with very little in material wealth, raised me with the mentality that he was not training me to feed him later in life. Raising children is not a financial investment for profit, but a responsibility and an act of legacy-building.
However, it’s not wrong to expect some returns, but that should not be the priority. If your goal is only to reap immediate financial rewards from your children, you will likely face stress and disappointment. Instead, train them well because it’s your responsibility. When they carry your name far and wide, when they achieve success in places you never dreamed of, that’s the true reward.
The Power of Your Name and Legacy
Your name is your legacy. It is your brand. I often think about how my father instilled in me the importance of taking his name places he could never go. Today, my children are doing the same. One is in Germany, another in Bucharest, and I’m here, all representing the Apoki name. This is what true legacy is about—raising children who will take your name to heights you could never reach.
If you’re in a position where your family does not value education, or they refuse to support you, don’t give up. Poverty is not just about finances; it’s about mentality. Find people who can help. Write a list of individuals who can support you, start a GoFundMe, and don’t be afraid to be visible and vocal about your needs.
For the Single Mothers: You Are More Than Enough
Finally, for the single mothers out there who feel they have nothing, I don’t believe in that term. You are a woman taking care of a child, whether a man is there or not. You have the ability to provide for your child and build a future. My father, though poor, worked multiple jobs, collected rags and sold them, and used every spare moment to improve our lives. Look around you—there is always something you can do or sell. Dignity of labor is key.
In conclusion, the sacrifices you make today for your children, whether financial, emotional, or spiritual, will yield rewards you can’t even imagine. Invest in your family, build a solid foundation, and practice delayed gratification. You may not see the fruits immediately, but trust me, they will come.
Stay tuned for more insights, as I’ll be sharing more live broadcasts during my time here in Europe.
Your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki
