I was invited to preach at a church service where my big brother was celebrating his 71st birthday. At the same event, the king of my mother’s community was being honoured with an award. This was a significant moment, and I knew the message I had to deliver was not just for the congregation but specifically for my king.
I took my bearing from Psalm 49:2, which says, “Him whom the Lord has honoured and does not know it is like a beast that perishes in the field.” My king needed to hear this message, and I doubt he will ever hear anything like it again—because very few people will be bold enough to tell him the hard truths I shared that day. But this message is not just for my king; it is for anyone who has been honoured.
Understanding Honour
Honour is a recognition bestowed upon you, usually due to performance. When God or people have elevated you, there is a transition from when you had no honour to when you received it. The key is recognizing this shift and living accordingly.
When you have been honoured, there are places you should no longer be seen. I told my king that I used to see him in certain places before he became king, but now, he should not be found there again. I shared my own experience of turning down an invitation to an event where a Vice President was present. I chose not to attend because I have been known for being apolitical. A single photograph of me in that setting could have led to unnecessary explanations. Honour demands that we carry ourselves differently.
Carrying Yourself with Honour
Many people believe honour is about money, security escorts, and sirens, but true honour is about self-respect. I recalled an experience where a prominent figure invited me to Abuja, but I refused to pay for my own flight ticket upfront. “You need me,” I told them. “You pay.” When I arrived, I asked about transport from the airport. When they hesitated, I warned them that if they did not arrange a car within ten minutes, I would turn back home. They quickly made arrangements.
Honour means knowing your worth. It means refusing to be treated like trash.
Refining Yourself
Honour also requires self-polishing. A diamond does not shine until it has been cut and polished. In the same way, when the Lord has honoured you, you must refine yourself—remove bad habits and unworthy behaviour.
I shared how I once saw a king step out of his car and urinate by the roadside. That is unacceptable. Refinement means grooming yourself, behaving with dignity, and leading by example. Some leaders disgrace themselves by allowing their emotions and desires to control them. A true leader must punish himself—discipline himself, deny himself unnecessary pleasures, and strive for excellence.
Personal Development and Branding
Beyond refinement, honour requires a personal push. You must push yourself to improve, to grow, and to develop a distinct brand. I have branded myself in ways that reflect my values: I don’t beg, I don’t owe, and I keep my promises. This is the image I have cultivated over the years, and it is non-negotiable.
To sustain honour, you also need a platform. My journey has been shaped by people who gave me platforms to express my gifts—Bishop P, Dr. Lance Daniels, Reverend John Eze, and many others. If you have been honoured, seek out and build your platform. No one lights a lamp and hides it under a bushel.
Productivity and Posterity
Honour is not just about the title; it must come with productivity. I reminded my king that he is no longer in his father’s era. Today’s leadership must focus on industrialization, education, and talent development. My community is rich in natural resources, yet for years, the wealth has not translated into meaningful development. A king in this generation should not be concerned with outdated traditions and wasteful ceremonies. Instead, he should build institutions, create industries, and empower his people.
True honor also considers posterity. What legacy are you leaving behind? Many people focus on the present benefits of their position but forget that honour is only enduring when it outlives you.
Surrounding Yourself with the Right People
I challenged my king to examine the people around him. If his chiefs are just alcohol-drinking sycophants who offer no wisdom for progress, then he should replace them. Honour is sustained by surrounding yourself with people who are more intelligent than you, people who challenge you to grow.
Final Thoughts
When the Lord has honoured you, don’t behave like a typical African or a typical Nigerian. Carry yourself with dignity. Refine and discipline yourself. Push yourself to be better. Surround yourself with the right people. Build for posterity.
I am Dr. Charles Apoki.
God bless you.
