I am your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki. On January 21st, at about 10 p.m., the Apoki dynasty welcomed a new addition. A beautiful granddaughter was born in Romania to my son, Dr. Apoki, and his wife, Dr. Mela Apoki. I am filled with gratitude to witness my children’s children. January 23rd, 2025, also marks the birthday of my eldest son, Dr. Mimi Apoki. I pray for God’s grace upon my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren, asking that they become blessings to humanity and uphold the family name.
This joyous moment inspired me to reflect deeply on the aging process for men, particularly the challenges and lessons we seldom share with younger men. Here are my thoughts:
The Silence of Men
One of the most striking truths about aging is that men rarely talk about their struggles. Many die with their pains and frustrations, leaving the next generation uninformed about the realities of life. Younger men should not rush to judge or analyze experiences they haven’t lived through. At 66, I have gathered enough wisdom to share without reservation.
The Challenge of Time
As you grow older, you realize that time is no longer on your side. You still have dreams, projects, and goals, but the years ahead are limited. I dream of building a specialist hospital and completing a tertiary institution. However, like Joshua in the Bible, even in old age, there are still lands to conquer and nations to reach. Younger men must start early to maximize opportunities, intentionally build financial independence, and delegate responsibilities effectively. Doing so will free up time and energy for meaningful pursuits later in life.
Financial Realities
Aging comes with financial limitations. As a man in your 50s or 60s, deepen your business ventures. Avoid taking unnecessary risks or accumulating debts. Organically grow your investments, and convert intellectual wealth into tangible assets like real estate. This strategy ensures a stable cash flow and minimizes financial stress.
Family Legacy
A significant concern for aging men is the continuity of their legacy. Families that unite to build enduring businesses often succeed across generations—examples include the Rothschilds, Dangotes, and Walmart’s founding family. Unfortunately, middle-class families often neglect this principle. Younger generations must embrace family legacies and work to sustain them rather than abandoning them for external opportunities.
Responsibilities and Emergencies
Responsibilities do not diminish with age; in fact, they often increase. Grandchildren, family occasions, and societal expectations all demand financial input. Prepare for emergencies by maintaining a healthy cash flow. Regular health checkups and the ability to meet medical needs without burdening others are crucial as you age.
Decadence in Society
The ideals of my youth often clash with the societal decadence I see today. Corruption, lawlessness, and moral decay are frustrating realities in our society. Men must uphold their values and strive to inspire hope in the face of these challenges.
Physical and Emotional Realities
The natural aging process affects physical intimacy and capacity. While the attraction to one’s spouse remains, energy and physical ability may wane. Emotional intimacy, communication, and shared purpose become even more important in maintaining a strong marital bond.
Pursuit of Purpose
Despite physical limitations, the mind remains fertile with ideas and creativity. Use technology and delegation to achieve your goals. Recognize the value of rest and focus on producing quality contributions rather than exhausting yourself.
Final Thoughts
Aging is a complex journey filled with joys, challenges, and responsibilities. Younger men should prepare early by building financial stability, nurturing family legacies, and prioritizing health. Rest while you are alive, before you are laid to rest.
I am Dr. Charles Apoki.
God bless you.
