Life is full of tools and stools—two metaphors that define how people are often treated by others. Some individuals are tools, used for specific tasks and set aside until needed again. Others are stools, serving as a footrest or support for those who sit on higher thrones. It is essential to understand your place in life, re-evaluate your role, and ensure you’re not just being used.
Tools and Stools: The Harsh Reality
A tool has no communication with its master, except when it’s being used. A stool, on the other hand, serves as a resting place for someone else’s feet or burdens. Both are utilitarian, offering value only when needed.
In relationships, workplaces, ministries, and even marriages, people can unconsciously become tools or stools. For instance:
- Workplace Dynamics: Many people dedicate their lives to an organization, only to be discarded when they are no longer useful.
- Marriages: Spouses can reduce each other to mere functions—one as a provider, the other as a caregiver—without nurturing each other as individuals.
- Politics and Society: Young people are often used as tools in political struggles, while the real beneficiaries sit comfortably, detached from the risks and consequences.
The Tragedy of Being a Tool
When people sharpen you for functionality, you often lose yourself in the process. Promotions, accolades, or privileges may come your way, but at the core, you remain a means to an end. This can lead to exhaustion and an inability to become your true self. As I once wrote, “We struggle so much to become other people that we eventually end up too exhausted to become ourselves.”
Lessons from Experience
I’ve seen this firsthand. People call me to preach, but once their needs are met, they rarely check on me. My wife wisely taught me early on to build a life that isn’t dependent on others’ invitations or validation.
It’s vital to create a life of independence and purpose—one where you’re not merely a tool in someone else’s hands.
Reclaim Your Identity
To avoid being a tool or stool in the hands of men, prioritize the following:
- Self-Development: Focus on becoming a person of value who can thrive independently.
- Purposeful Living: Seek to be a tool and stool for God’s kingdom—a role that brings eternal significance.
- Healthy Boundaries: Learn to recognize when you’re being used and set limits to protect your well-being.
A Sobering Reminder
A donkey may carry burdens or kick away foxes, but it remains a beast of burden. A horse may be groomed, fed, and adorned with titles, yet it is still a horse. Titles, gifts, or even promotions do not change the reality of being a tool in someone else’s hands.
Choose Wisely
Instead of being a disposable tool or stool in the hands of men, strive to be a golden stool for God—a vessel of honor and purpose. Life is about choices, and the path you take depends on you.
Also, stay tuned for the Citizens Forum, a platform for selfless service and advocacy for progress in Nigeria and Africa. Together, we can challenge the status quo and create meaningful change.
I remain your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki.
