I am your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki, and today I want to discuss one critical issue that men must avoid as they grow older—See Finish Syndrome. This syndrome arises when those closest to you—your wife, children, or even society—begin to take you for granted. It is a silent killer that leads many men into depression, loss of self-worth, and even premature death. Let’s explore how to identify it, prevent it, and live a fulfilling life as you age.
1. The Pressure on Men During the Festive Season
As the Christmas season approaches, many men feel immense pressure to meet family expectations. Despite working hard all year, your contributions can be overshadowed by a single moment of unmet needs. Wives may grumble, frown, or even manipulate children against you, making you feel like a failure.
I often say, “No matter what you’ve done since January, December will test your mettle.” But the truth is, you don’t need to jeopardize your health trying to meet unrealistic demands. Learn to manage expectations while safeguarding your peace and well-being.
2. Building a Strong Foundation for Old Age
As men approach their 50s and 60s, preparation becomes crucial for playing the fatherly and grandfatherly roles effectively. A wise man prepares for the future of his family early.
For example, I ensure that $1,000 is deposited into an account for each of my grandchildren before they’re born. That money grows with interest, providing a solid start for their future. Why? Because the Bible says, “A righteous man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22).
This approach removes undue pressure on you as a father or grandfather while ensuring your family’s financial security.
3. The Reality of Aging
Aging comes with unique challenges:
- Loneliness: Children grow up, marry, and move on to build their own lives.
- Isolation: Many of your peers are also aging in their own homes, far from you.
- Loss of Interaction: Studies show that social interactions are as beneficial as physical exercise. However, aging men often lose touch with friends and community.
For me, this platform has been a blessing, allowing me to interact with people worldwide, keeping my mind engaged and active.
4. The Danger of See Finish Syndrome
“See Finish Syndrome” happens when familiarity breeds contempt. Your wife, for instance, has seen everything about you: your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and even moments of vulnerability. Without effort to keep things fresh and exciting, you risk becoming just another fixture in her life.
This syndrome is dangerous because:
- It diminishes your perceived value.
- It erodes your self-esteem.
- It leads to a lack of appreciation and praise.
5. The Power of Praise and Fascination
Praise is essential for men, especially in old age. The Bible says, “God inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). Similarly, men thrive on appreciation and acknowledgment.
Here’s a simple example:
If you take two chicks and name one Blessing and the other Curse, while treating them the same, but speak words of praise to one and curses to the other, you’ll notice a difference. The chick praised will grow stronger and healthier, while the one cursed will wither.
Men are no different. Praise brings out the best in them, while neglect and criticism break their spirits.
6. How to Avoid See Finish Syndrome
To maintain your relevance and live a long, fulfilling life:
- Keep Fascinating Those Around You: Continue to grow, learn, and achieve new milestones. For example, my ability to earn $100 for a 30-minute consultation fascinates my wife, Felicia. It reminds her that I’m still a man of value.
- Engage in New Ventures: Whether it’s ministry, business, or community activities, find ways to stay active and relevant.
- Demand Respect: Remind your family of your worth—not through arrogance, but by consistently demonstrating your value.
7. Final Thoughts
As men, we must guard against the pressures of life, the realities of aging, and the dangers of See Finish Syndrome. Build your legacy early, stay active, and ensure that those around you continue to respect and appreciate your presence.
Upcoming Webinar
Join me for my webinar, “Hitting the Ground Running Financially 2025,” in January.
Remember, men, you’re not finished until you decide you are. Keep growing, keep fascinating, and live long!
God bless you.
Dr. Charles Apoki.
