I’m Dr. Charles Apoki, and today I want to talk specifically to men about one of the most potent weapons that women use against men, both inside and outside marriage—sexual temptation. Let’s dive into some principles that have helped me for over 39 years in marriage, principles that will help you, too.
The first thing is to be realistic and rational about sex. Sex is often overhyped in society, but at its core, it is just pleasurable friction. It is not a sign of love, and it certainly doesn’t hold the deep meaning that many men attach to it. Even prostitutes engage in sex, but they don’t love their customers. Once you see it for what it is, your mind will be freed from the chains that sexual desire can impose.
Sex may offer some health benefits like reducing blood pressure or helping you sleep, but these advantages are far outweighed by the complications that come from indulging in cheap sexual encounters.
Sexual desire, especially when it becomes insatiable, is a trap. It can enslave you, pushing you to seek variety and experiment endlessly. However, it’s essentially the same experience every time. It’s like serving the same meal in different dishes. Recognizing this truth helps free you from constantly seeking something new and exciting. Once you conquer this overhyped fantasy, you will regain control over your life.
In marriage, sex can be used as a weapon to weaken your negotiation power. When you are ruled by an insatiable desire for it, you are more likely to agree to things or give up things you normally wouldn’t. The more you can control this urge, the more power and respect you will command in your relationships. It strengthens your ability to stand your ground.
Set higher ideals for yourself. In my life, I aspired to be a global figure, an influencer, a doctor, and a leader. I wanted to create transgenerational wealth for my family. These were my higher ideals, and I understood that chasing sexual pleasure outside my marriage would destroy them. No matter the temptation, I focused on my greater purpose, which gave me the strength to resist.
My relationship with God is more important than any temporary erotic pleasure. When you place God above everything else, it becomes easier to overcome temptations. Sure, temptations will come—no matter how old a goat is, it will still eat yam if you place it in front of it. But I avoid unnecessary closeness with women and guard myself from situations that could lead me astray.
The second look is the dangerous one. The first look may be innocent, but the second glance leads you down a dangerous path. Whether it’s in the workplace, church, or on the street, avoid giving women a second look. Shut the door to temptation the moment it presents itself.
Always think ahead. Ask yourself, what will this choice cost me? It could cost you your status, your finances, your family, and even your peace of mind. Let this thought sober you up whenever temptation strikes.
Instead of focusing on physical desires, create intellectual stimulation for your mind. Get excited about your work, your ideas, or your projects. This is a much more fulfilling way to live. Personally, I get more stimulated from intellectual creation than from physical pleasure.
The status and privileges I enjoy today come from maintaining discipline and focusing on my goals. Fix your eyes on the higher glory, not the lower, fleeting pleasures of life. Remember, when the brain below is strong, the brain above is soft. Always keep your mind strong.
I have a seminar coming up on Becoming a Person of Influence on the 8th and 9th of November. If you’re interested, send a message to +2348020219262 to register.
God bless you,
Dr. Charles Apoki
