CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER
How do you choose the right partner?
Number one: Marriage is like an enzyme-substrate reaction. For those of you who studied biology, the enzyme fits into the substrate to be able to digest it. Marriage is like a lock and key phenomenon. The lock (the wife) and the key (the husband) must fit into each other. Here are some criteria to consider when looking for a partner:
- Compatibility of Vision: Do your visions align? Even if they don’t match perfectly, can they complement each other?
- Capacity: Does she or he have the capacity to handle responsibilities and challenges?
- Character: Does she or he have the right character traits?
- Competence: How well can your partner manage various aspects of life?
Let me use Isaac and Rebecca as an illustration. Isaac’s servant prayed that the woman who would offer him water and also volunteer to water his camels would be the right one. This demonstrated compassion and willingness to serve. Isaac had camels that he would inherit, so the woman he married needed to love camels and be willing to do the work required.
The woman offered to fetch water for ten camels, which would involve carrying approximately 1,200 liters of water. Considering the well was about 40 meters deep, this task required significant physical effort. The servant observed her actions carefully to assess her competence and willingness.
Additionally, the Bible mentions that Rebecca acted quickly and greeted the servant with respect, showcasing her character. These are the traits that the servant looked for in Rebecca and ultimately led to her being chosen for Isaac.
When choosing a partner, consider the following qualities: capacity, character, chemistry, competence, and charisma. Charisma includes physical attractiveness, which is important because as you age, maintaining attraction is valuable. The Bible advises being intoxicated with the love of the wife of your youth. My wife, at 63, is still very attractive to me.
Lastly, consider entrepreneurial traits. If a partner is not entrepreneurial at the beginning, it is difficult for them to become entrepreneurial later. If someone cannot manage resources effectively and views you as an ATM, they might not be suitable for entrepreneurial ventures.
Observe if your potential partner is enterprising. For instance, Rebecca went to fetch water, showing her industrious nature. Moses married Zipporah, who risked her life to water her father’s flocks. Jacob’s wife also showed diligence by coming to the well with her father’s sheep.
Observe the lady in various settings: in church, at work, and within the community, before proposing marriage. Avoid superficial criteria like physical appearance or skin colour, as these do not sustain a marriage.
Thank you. Dr. Charles Apoki is my name.
