Occasional disagreements or conflicts are normal in any relationship, but when one party gains more control in a relationship, always feel the need to be apologized to or always feel like need to explain his or herself, these might just be pointers to a toxic relationship.
Recognizing Toxicity in Relationships:
Toxicity in a relationship can often be identified early, even during courtship. Avoid any relationship that:
- Makes you lose value for yourself.
- Drains your energy or causes fear.
- Provokes panic or anxiety.
Do not enter a relationship from a position of vulnerability or desperation, such as feeling old, recovering from a breakup, or feeling societal pressure to marry. This can lead to dependency, entitlement, and ultimately, an unhealthy dynamic.
Building a Strong Foundation:
- Avoiding Entitlement: Do not have a mentality of entitlement where you continuously demand from your partner. This creates frustration and toxicity.
- Self-Reliance and Independence: Do not depend on your partner for everything. Maintain your independence and contribute equally to the relationship.
- Understanding Life Beyond Marriage: Life is more than just marriage. Do not hinge your entire existence on it.
- Respecting Your Family: Never speak ill of your family during courtship. It signals to your partner that you lack a support system, which they might exploit.
- Balancing Power Dynamics: Do not behave as if you have more to gain or lose in the relationship. Maintain a balanced perspective.
Practical Tips for Managing Toxicity:
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them to your partner. This helps in managing expectations and behaviors.
- Stay Calm: Discuss issues calmly and logically without anger or tears. Toxic individuals often exploit emotional responses.
- Keep Records: Document instances of abuse (physical, verbal, or emotional) for future reference if needed.
- Involve a Third Party: Seek counsel from a trusted pastor, mentor, or counselor if the situation becomes unbearable.
- Protect Yourself: Just as you would wear protective gear in a hazardous environment, protect yourself emotionally and spiritually in a toxic relationship.
In conclusion, if the relationship becomes physically dangerous, do not hesitate to separate or even consider divorce. Remember, your well-being is paramount. The Bible has examples of individuals who took necessary steps to protect themselves, like Esther, who married a divorced, non-believer king and played a crucial role in saving her people. Choose to be at peace with yourself.
God bless you.
